December 2011
3 posts
Dec 16th
Dec 15th
2 notes
Getting Close Now
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way. Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll? Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born … a Festivus for the rest of us! Cosmo Kramer: That must’ve been some kind...
Dec 9th
1 note
November 2011
2 posts
Dentist
I went to the dentist yesterday for a cleaning. They found another cavity, and were able to drill it out right away (with no novacaine). But more importantly here is a conversation I had with the hygienist. Her: Hmmm.  Have you ever considered using an electric toothbrush? Me: Actually, I use one now.  I thought it was working… Her: Yeah, apparently not…Let me show you how to...
Nov 30th
1 note
Nov 2nd
October 2011
4 posts
Need these for tailgating →
Oct 27th
A Text From Bonnie
Oh no.  She just clapped for a carrot top segment on Regis & Kelly.  Our daughter has questionable taste!
Oct 20th
2 notes
Oct 7th
Oct 4th
September 2011
2 posts
Getting Older
More evidence. I just got excited about a neck tie sale. UPDATE: Since for some unknown reason, Tumblr will not allow you to reply to a comment on your posts… Yes Michael it was the 3 for $20 sale at Men’s Wearhouse!  Although in my case it was 3 for $23 since I need to buy extra long ties to fit my freakishly long torso.
Sep 28th
1 note
WatchWatch
That looks so very painful.
Sep 27th
August 2011
5 posts
Aug 30th
Aug 26th
Aug 16th
Aug 10th
WatchWatch
I love drunk old men fighting.
Aug 5th
July 2011
1 post
“This is not a mundane detail Michael!!!!”
– Ronny-boy Livingston, aka Peter Gibbons
Jul 14th
1 note
June 2011
7 posts
Jun 23rd
Jun 21st
Jun 20th
Jun 14th
216 notes
Think you've never heard it before? →
Jun 7th
Jun 6th
84 notes
Jun 1st
May 2011
16 posts
May 27th
WatchWatch
This is a truly special episode of Between Two Ferns.  Even though Ferrell and Galifianakis basically play the same characters in everything, I still howl like a spider monkey.
May 26th
May 25th
1 note
New Shades
How much is too much to spend on sunglasses? I ask because I just bought a name-brand pair of shades, and I’m feeling like an asshole for spending too much ca$h.
May 24th
1 note
Party All The Time →
May 23rd
May 17th
May 17th
May 16th
WatchWatch
May 16th
May 11th
May 10th
A milestone
Well, this feels very funny to say. After… …one last final rush to get the house ready for a party we were having after the baby’s baptism this past weekend (which turned out great) …and 3 something years …and tens of thousands of dollars …and my remaining pigmented hair I am proclaiming the interior renovation of our house COMPLETED…
May 10th
WatchWatch
May 10th
Sheats Goldstein Residence →
May 9th
1 note
WatchWatch
Oh how I laughed and laughed at this one.
May 2nd
May 2nd
April 2011
6 posts
Apr 28th
Apr 27th
162 notes
Apr 26th
Apr 20th
I just realized that I’m not sure I know how to do long division anymore.
Apr 18th
WatchWatch
Oh god The Onion does it again.  The “expert” on this episode has the best comments I’ve ever heard.
Apr 12th
2 notes
March 2011
6 posts
Oh no...
My dad just brought about 15 VHS tapes to town.  Home movies…  I saw one label, “Erik T-Ball 1986”.  I vow to somehow digitally capture this footage and post choice clips of me in hot-pants to youtube.
Mar 28th
2 notes
How to lower the phone bill
mybadparents: Well, this is one way to stop kids from texting ;)
Mar 24th
13 notes
Mar 23rd
Mar 3rd